tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11114009582806520152024-02-09T04:00:46.349+08:00devonicThis is a blog where you can voice what you think freely and it's open to all kind of people,doesn't matter if you are rich,poor,of any colours,race and religion.All are invited in.....devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-33209334788302022342009-07-18T00:42:00.004+08:002009-07-18T00:53:44.850+08:00Great words..Teriffic lines...Few dazzling lines taken from a great fren...Make us ponder..How words are put together to make the brain tingles...<br /><br />have a roll...<br /><br />a) Suffering from truth <span style="font-style:italic;">decay</span>..<span style="font-style:italic;">Brush</span> up your bible..<br /><br />b) Give god what's <span style="font-style:italic;">right</span>...Not what's <span style="font-style:italic;">left</span>...<br /><br />c) Worry is the <span style="font-style:italic;">darkroom</span> in which <span style="font-style:italic;">negatives</span> can develop...<br /><br />d) Give Satan an <span style="font-style:italic;">inch</span>..& he'll be the <span style="font-style:italic;">ruler</span>..<br /><br />e) Never give the devil a <span style="font-style:italic;">ride</span>...He'll always want to <span style="font-style:italic;">drive</span>..<br /><br />f) A lot of <span style="font-style:italic;">kneeling</span> will keep you in good <span style="font-style:italic;">standing</span>...<br /><br />g) He who <span style="font-style:italic;">kneels</span> before god can<span style="font-style:italic;"> stand</span> before anyone...<br /><br />Great sentences right......Great pick up lines to be used in some places though...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-65446067568796467982009-07-08T16:56:00.002+08:002009-07-08T17:03:54.643+08:00BOY..BOY..BOYS...<span style=";font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:12;color:blue;" >Interesting things when you have sons, like:-</span></span><span style=";font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:36;color:blue;" > </span></span> <p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >1.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:12;color:blue;" >A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 200 m<sup>2</sup> house to a depth of 10 cm.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >2.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >If you spray hair spray on dust balls and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >3.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >4.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:85%;" ><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:7;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 20 Kg boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 6m x 6m room.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >5.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:85%;" ><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:24;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >You should not throw cricket balls up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a cricket ball a long way.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >6.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:85%;" ><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:24;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >The glass in windows (even double-glazed) doesn't stop a cricket ball hit by a ceiling fan.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >7.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:85%;" ><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:24;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >8.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >9.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:85%;" ><span style="color: rgb(31, 73, 125);font-size:7;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies,</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >10.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >11.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >12.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Super glue is forever.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >13.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >No matter how many jelly crystals you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >14.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Pool filters do not like jelly crystals.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >15.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >VCR's do not eject 'BL&T' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >16.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >17.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >18.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >You probably DO NOT want to know what that smell is.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >19.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >20.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >The fire department in Brisbane, Qld, has a 5-minute response time.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >21.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >22.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >It will, however, make cats dizzy.</span></span> </p><p style="margin-left: 54pt;font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >23.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:7;color:blue;" > </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:24;color:blue;" >Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.</span></span> </p><p style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style="font-size:24;">80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. </span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style=";font-size:18;color:blue;" ><br /></span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><br /></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style="font-size:24;">80% of Men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.</span></span><span style=";font-size:85%;color:blue;" ><span style="color:blue;"><br /></span></span></p>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-16444858525782152912009-07-08T16:29:00.003+08:002009-07-08T16:44:06.516+08:00Memoirs...of the weddingSo bored...this is when you will let the mind wander to the memory lane..today it went as far as my wedding days...still feels that i just got married...can still remember the crowd..the beautiful deco's..my brothers running everywhere..the pre wed party..after wed party...(most guys need just a reason to party)..my lovely wife..my parents..how happy they were..the show at the wed...the antiques that i did..luved my flower gals...my police escort..the fireworks..my beautiful self made(actually my tambi and his good fren created it) wedding card..(which has now became a sensational trend..thanks to both of them)...but there's one thing which still lurks around me..the poem on my wed card..dedicated to my lovely wife....<br /><h3 style="color: rgb(255, 204, 51);" class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">In my sky at twilight you are like a cloud ...</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">and your form and colours are the way I love them....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);">You are mine..mine..woman with sweet lips..</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">and in your life my infinite dreams live.......</span></h3> <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"> Rabindranath </span><em style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Tagore</em><br /><br /><br />It still rhymes in this mind.....devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-46751142619230001462009-07-08T12:48:00.003+08:002009-07-08T12:57:57.104+08:00The pig and H1N1..saga....<img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Devan/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.jpg" alt="" /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >A bear, a lion and a pig meet.<br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Devan/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-3.jpg" alt="" /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Bear says:</span><br /><br /> "if I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Lion says: </span><br /><br />"if I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me."<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Pig says: </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">"big deal.... I only have to cough, and the entire planet lives in fear.</span><br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Devan/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.jpg" alt="" />devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-32370905841729188912009-07-07T23:58:00.002+08:002009-07-08T00:29:16.462+08:00What a year..oh what a year...to sit down n to roll it back..to see how things were and were not...to see changes..to see growth...to see it all...time passes as it flies...a great person once said...time is finite...without ending..as the beginnings were...mankind have formulated time in mathematical equation as<span style="font-style: italic;"> time t=t</span><span style="font-size:78%;">-1000</span> but then the answer for t= t<span style="font-size:78%;">0</span>..the beginning only one knows..<br />Time was much in my mind today...Irealized today how old my dad is..i realized how fast i grew up...i realised hows things are catching up with me now..time is priceless for a man of my stature..time with my dad..mum..family..esp my wife n son..is some sacrifice i've taken....i don't know whether it's worth the effort...<br />Face it man..u r no longer young and childish..but neither am i that old...<br /><br />so let live a full meaning fulllife than...maygos bless us alldevonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-89297016715349645572009-07-06T01:43:00.000+08:002009-07-06T01:46:29.862+08:00Saying a little prayer now.....<div> <wbr> <br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><div><i><span style="font-size: 24pt;">TO: </span></i><span style="font-size: 24pt; color: blue;"><a title="http://god.com/" href="http://god.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><i><span>God.Com </span></i></a></span><br /></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><div><div><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Dear Lord, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1223082487f1bc6c&attid=0.0.1&disp=emb&zw" width="625" border="0" height="621" /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Every single evening </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">As I'm lying here in bed, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">This tiny little Prayer </span></i><span style="font-size: 18pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Keeps running through my head: </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">God bless all my family </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Wherever they may be, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Keep them warm </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">And safe from harm </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">For they're so close to me. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">And God, there is one more thing </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">I wish that you could do; </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Hope you don't mind me asking, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Please bless my computer too. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Now I know that it's unusual </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">To Bless a motherboard, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">But listen just a second </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">While I explain it to you, Lord </span></i><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">You see, that little metal box </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Holds more than odds and ends; </span></i><span style="font-size: 18pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Inside those small compartments </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Rest so many of my friends. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">I know so much about them </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">By the kindness that they give, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">And this little scrap of metal </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Takes me in to where they live. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">By faith is how I know them </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Much the same as you. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">We share in what life brings us </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">And from that our friendships grew. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Please take an extra minute </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">From your duties up above, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">To bless those in my address book </span></i><span style="font-size: 18pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">That's filled with so much love. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Wherever else this prayer may reach </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">To each and every friend, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Bless each e-mail inbox </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">And each person who reads them. </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">When you update your Heavenly list </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">On your own Great CD-ROM, </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Bless everyone who says this prayer </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Sent up to GOD. </span></i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Com <br /></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1223082487f1bc6c&attid=0.0.2&disp=emb&zw" width="259" border="0" height="100" /></span><br /></div></div></div><div><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Amen </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> <br /></span></div>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-24099765862913585582009-07-06T01:38:00.001+08:002009-07-06T01:41:21.740+08:00Hey...U've got a twisted mind...bet ya...<div style="background-color: rgb(204, 255, 255);"> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed somehow to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. </span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. </span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.</span></div> <div> </div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store..... so what did she do? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">What are you thinking? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">?? </span></div> <div><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">HellOOOooooooOOOooo,</span> <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">her husband speaks English!! </span></span></div></div>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-26023446111128543912009-06-29T00:30:00.002+08:002009-06-29T00:33:18.224+08:00Any arguments more.....One of the best jokes i've ever had....<br />No hard feelings though....<br /><br />*****************************************************************************************<br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="EN-US"></span></span> <div> <p><span style="font-family:Snap ITC;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Snap ITC';" lang="EN-US">An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.<br /><br />A representative from India began:</span></span><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Snap ITC;"><span style="font-family: 'Snap ITC';" lang="EN-US">'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.<br /><br />When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath.'<br /><br />He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.<br /><br />When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.'<br /><br />The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted,</span></span><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span><span style="font-family:Snap ITC;"><span style="font-family: 'Snap ITC';" lang="EN-US">'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis <strong><b><span style="font-family:Snap ITC;"><span style="font-family: 'Snap ITC';">weren't there then</span></span></b></strong>.'<br /><br />The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.' </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><br /><br /></span><b><span style="font-family:Showcard Gothic;font-size:130%;color:red;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 13.5pt; color: red; font-family: 'Showcard Gothic';" lang="EN-US">And they say Kashmir belongs to them ……………………………………?? :)</span></span></b><span lang="EN-US"></span></p></div> <p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="EN-US"> ****************************************************************************************</span></span></p>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-59808546264913269672009-06-29T00:26:00.001+08:002009-06-29T00:27:35.890+08:00A story of cocks...<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /><br /></span></span> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster </span></span></b><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">and ten hens</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></b><img src="http://gfx1.hotmail.com/mail/w3/ltr/i_safe.gif" border="0" height="144" width="141" /><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.3&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="144" width="141" /><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.3&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="144" width="141" /><img src="http://gfx1.hotmail.com/mail/w3/ltr/i_safe.gif" border="0" height="144" width="141" /><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.3&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="144" width="141" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">he kept in the hen house behind the church.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /></span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">One Sunday morning, before mass,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock</span></span></b><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"> was missing.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">He knew about cock fights in the village,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">so he questioned his parishioners in church.</span></span></b><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span></b><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br />During mass, he asked the congregation,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.4&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="81" width="80" /></span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">'Has anybody got a cock?'</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> <br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">All the men stood up.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.4&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="81" width="80" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /> </span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br />'No, no,'</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">he said,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">'that wasn't what I meant.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">Has anybody seen a cock?'</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">All the women stood up.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> </span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.4&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="81" width="80" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">'No, no,'</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">he said,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;"> 'that wasn't what I meant.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?'</span></span></b><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> <br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">Half the women stood up.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.4&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="81" width="80" /> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">'No, no,'</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">he said,</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">'that wasn't what I meant.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.4&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="81" width="80" /></span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /></span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">Has anybody seen</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b><i><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:7;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 36pt; font-style: italic; font-family: Verdana;"> MY<br />cock?</span></span></i></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">'</span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span> </p><p style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.2&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="150" width="150" /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"> </span></span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;">Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.<br /><br /></span></span></b><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 18pt; font-family: Verdana;">The priest fainted.</span></span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /> <br /></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:6;"><span style="font-size: 24pt; font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=3285787c1d&view=att&th=1220c680d296e5b6&attid=0.0.1.1&disp=emb&zw" border="0" height="50" width="35" /><img src="http://gfx1.hotmail.com/mail/w3/ltr/i_safe.gif" border="0" height="45" width="154" /></p> <p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span> </p>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-18325397150877032412009-06-29T00:14:00.002+08:002009-06-29T00:23:44.745+08:00<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span>Do not jump your guns....It's only a humour posting...Not intended to disgrace nor contempt any race,reigion or people...Meant only as an brain stimulant...Laugh it off....<br /><br />*************************************************************************************<br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"><br /><br /> Little Mohamed entered his classroom in France.</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> What is your name? asked the teacher. </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;">Mohammad.... answered the kid. </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> Here we are in France, there is no Mohamed. From now on</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> your name will be</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;">Jean-Francois, replied the teacher. </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> <br />In the evening, Mohamed returned</span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> home. </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> How was your day, Mohamed? asked his mother.</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> My name is not Mohamed,I am in France</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> and my name is Jean-Francois. </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"><br /> Ah, are you</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> parents, </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> your heritage, your religion? Shame on you</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> ..and she beat him.</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> Then she called the father and</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> he too beat him savagely. </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> The next</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> day Mohamed returned to school </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she</span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> asked: </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> What</span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> happened my little Jean-Francois. </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"></span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> Well Miss, just two hours after becoming French,<br /> I</span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> was</span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> attacked by two</span><span style="font-family: lucida grande;"> Arabs! </span><br /></span>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-16800795895977276612009-06-28T00:21:00.001+08:002009-06-28T00:24:40.174+08:00Short notice...OOOOhhhhh my dear...Been ages since i've scribed anything here....been busier than ever...Guess tomorrow have to find some time to update my status....to review how i've been....devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-12880462641577070192009-01-17T01:25:00.000+08:002009-01-17T01:45:23.099+08:00A happy day to begin...a sad day in finish...What a day it has been....16 April 2009...<br /><br /> We had a charter inspection by Shell Corp. today and we did quite well if not excellent..All ended in high note except for some small hiccups...As the inspection has finish,it means now, I can proceed to my long awaited holiday with my family, for whom I've been away for the past 6 months..Miss my darling wife and my ever fast growing articulate son...Will be with them for a week before bringing them to Korea for two weeks...Hope it will be a fun,lovely trip...It's -3 deg C over there in Seoul..Hope could catch some snow though...<br /><br /> But then by early morning 16th,I received few text messages from my friends...A sad..really sad message...My friend..my ex-boss...my 'guru' in some matters...a well wisher of mine...a religious person himself...a dedicated father and husband to his family...a man whom I put ..with multiple side...Chief Engineer Ahmad Fizal Ani has passed away and lost in his battle against cancer which he has been fighting for the past 2 years...<br /><br />My deepest thought and prayers for him and his family...<br /><br />I am compiling a dedication for him and hope I can post it soon..Till then lay in peace my friend...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-69244604883586253322009-01-01T17:47:00.003+08:002009-01-01T18:11:29.332+08:00New Year and things following.....Happy New Year and Merry Christmas to all out there...........<br /><br />What a year it has been...and what kind of year is coming soon....God knows?..<br />So whatever the resolution we are going to take for this new year....it is going to take a new shape and dimension..All the economy...politic..religion and all kind of angles, are going to be affected....for bad or worse..maybe for some, who knows, a better turn around...<br /><br />So, my this years resolution...<br /><br />a) To go back home....(it has been nearly six months since i left home ,spending some good time with my wife and son..miss them..)<br /><br />b) To take a nice vacation and get wasted...(lepaklah what else) <br /><br />c) To quit one habit, that has been with me, for nearly 15 years....did not realize, it was that long..."Will try dear.."<br /><br />d) To start finding some ways of making good income in homeland,working on own rather than working for someone else faraway from the family....<br /><br />e) To bring my parents for a nice vacation...<br /><br />f)To find a proper reliable maid for the family....<br /><br />g) To get a professional body certification for my career projection...<br /><br />h) To save more money............<br /><br />The list will go on....Thus the only thing I'm going to do now is pray...n pray..n pray...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-33899648691558924632008-12-22T19:28:00.003+08:002008-12-22T20:10:00.856+08:00My education....Thing that's dear to my heart...<br /><br />EDUCATION......<br /><br />Well a big part of the fat reason is,I was given the opportunity to pursue to whatever line of education possible by my father...But alas i squandered it...big time..My dad gave me all that he can...at the best most of the time for the sole purpose of education..for his kids..but most of us didn't use the given chance properly except 2 of my brothers whom, one did expectationaly well in what he pursued and the other brother is chasing his dream at the moment...<br /><br />As I said earlier..my education didn't end in a well note...My SRP results were good but not much to say on my SPM though...a mediocre by standard..n for that I didn't even applied for any U'.I took STPM without even going for classes..enrolled in a school for that but never even attended the classes for more than few days..But i got a 1 principal for General Knowledge..Guess that result kicked me out of my sleep...made me realize even without going for any classes i got a principal in STPM..what i would have achieved if i tried like other STPM kids...<br /><br />I enrolled my self in a audio engineering school...but that was no field for me to excel..i was not so good in music production i guess...So after getting myself few "cert's"...I entered an Academy which till now i wonder how?<br /><br />That's the Malaysia Maritime Academy...Had the shock of my life when enrolled there for the the few month... well, it's a semi military oriented academy...A guy like me who was doing things without anyone's control and freedom ...well it was like being hit by a Lamborghini Diablo at its top speed..I had to parade..had to listen to jokers and have to stand back each time being ragged..no..no...it's not like your typical 'Uni' kind of ragging...Imagine u haven't sleep for a day or two and in the wee morning a guy whose nose is only at your waist length is shouting at ur face ..telling things about ur family(obviously not so pleasant) while you are doing punishment such as "infinity bumping"...those were the days...<br /><br />But that place made me who I am today....Passed the academy with flying colours...I passed out at 1999 and now 10 years later...I am proud of who I am now...a senior marine engineer officer at one of the biggest shipping company in the world..I have obtained my Chief Engineer license and now just waiting for the perks to kick in....But then it was not an easy journey up...<br /><br />Maybe an angel dropped some dust on me on the way...And for those out there...having less cert's up your sleeve doesn't mean u can't fly high...Dream and dream higher...But don't forget to chase ur dream always...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-88962931544531604682008-12-22T00:46:00.004+08:002008-12-22T01:19:04.571+08:00Hi...guess still lapsing on story telling I guess....been a though few months ....just waiting to go back home after this assignment...The thought of spending the holiday far away from the family especially from my boy n gal...really strikes a big blow occasionally to the mind....<br /><br />So the nation of Malaysia is rather moving backwards rather than what the crowd is told about...The rate of retrenchment ,VSS,unemployment is rising...The price of oil is on a downward trend..but our goods price is still market high....<br /><br />Where are we going to go from here....As my friend put it to me today...as the price of good will start to fall down later..but is the oil price is going to be the same....All oil producing nation are trying their best to raise the oil price by reducing output.....so eventually rather now or later the oil price will start to rise again....so the million dollar question is as the goods price were on the verge of dropping,will it sustain in the hike of oil price again?Inflation is going go up again rather than down...thus another avalanche in the making....<br /><br />If someone wants to know how bad is the economy...just see the shipping trend....The amount of ships laid out throughout the world is mind boggling...The view over Singapore's coast line at their anchorage areas...the amount of vessels being laid up is increasing vastly...The amount of goods being transported is so less that the vessels have virtually lost their business overnight.Big shipping companies are cutting down/down sizing to a new level unseen in the previously booming industry.....<br /><br />My thought is now with those back home,whom a lot have been retrenched,contract terminated or continued....So help us god to overcome this turmoil as bad economy in most countries(developed mainly) ,spells a big trouble for our African nation friends...whom some if not a great number depend on the UN food program....<br /><br />Help us god.....Amendevonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-40682138319532277342008-07-31T18:31:00.003+08:002008-07-31T18:39:37.204+08:00The come backGee....Been so long since i've written on anything...Guess time flew so fast that I could not believe it was that long....<br /><br />Guess I'm back again for few words...The current situation in our nation makes me wanna puke rather than writing about them...<br /><br />Feels like I'm on a hot wire,,,Can't go along with the ruling guys....can't either with the PM wannabe...Is there no one else out there who can lead....Please la..So tired n sick with these guys...<br /><br />I guess our country is down treading rather than moving up...What lies ahead for our or even our kids future...only time will tell...<br /><br />Will post again soon...Just the volume of work is restraining me from writing more,,,n the thought of my son is really putting up a toll on me...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-75613043540322992932006-11-27T22:50:00.000+08:002006-11-27T23:12:23.220+08:00Tired...It been days since I've sat down in front of my laptop and jotted some of what is running through my mind...Isn't it ironic to see all the news we are learning every day,about the welfare of our own nation...Suddenly I'm more sad of Malaysian rather on the condition of those war stricken people out there,of those people suffering from bomb and terrorist attacks,those living from hand to mouth out there..This sudden emphatic on our own community is indulging me to be more agitated towards those in the governance...<br />The idiotic leaders are shaming themselves publicly with their stupid statements...can they think for a while of the impact of their own words...<br />The apartheid method happening in M'sia is really mind boggling..When this law aided segregation will be abolished..I certainly don't want my kids to grow up hating my neighbours who are Malay,Chinese or other races...I want them to grow up as a Malaysian...As a nation that only had the aborigines as the only son of soil,this parading of M***y folks is getting out of hand..Don't they ever knew history...Indians were here long and most of these B**IP****a are descendants from the Indian travellers...Then where came the name son of soil for them...<br />All men and women are equal in the eyes of god..We should help hand in hand to live better...<br /><br />For the issue of Kg.Berembang ,things are getting hot now..Many NGO's and activist have thronged to help the 51 Malay folks...But wondered that most of them were not Malays..You see,for most Non-Malay's we don't segregate races..it's done by the Malays themselves..Those who were arrested were in fact a quite amount of Non-Malays...Congrat my comrades..You've shown that us irrespective of our differences we stand for our principle against those who abuse the human rights...But then don't forget..there are other families in Kg.Berembang who need help apart from the 51 families....<br /><br />So...today has been a hectic day...My HQ officers are coming tomorrow to ensure we are ready for the inspection by the one of the oil majors...It's been a sleepless night for the past few days..Sometime I wonder how did I ever ended up in a career like this..Guess if I studied harder then,I would have been somewhere else..But then this job has been moulding me to be a better man than a lot of them I knew..And the pay is good too la...<br /><br />So I'll be blogging again maybe after this big shit load of inspection is over...And till then I have tonnes of work to carry on......devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-36076438397271033012006-11-21T18:50:00.000+08:002006-11-21T19:38:47.145+08:00Memoirs of Kg.Berembang.....It's those days when the <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">evil prevails over the good</span>....Kg.berembang is going down but not the memoirs....<br />Today I received another sad news where the MPAJ dons are tearing apart the village....Wished I owned a bulldozer so that i can bring down the houses of the Selangor's most idiotic dentist,the MPAJ councillors and all those involved in the fracases happening there..Then they can feel how does it feel ....Why not the celebrity ADUN Zainal's palace is not brought down....Double standard idiots....<br />My maternal side resided in Kg.berembang even before I was born..More than 40 years ago,my grandfather found a place in KL for his family as they were growing big in family members...He found an area near a forestry in Ampang..It was an area with heavy forestation and steep hills...He,my uncles and aunts cleared the hill and forest to open up a settlement...<br />Ask any one of the Indian villagers in Kg Berembang about '<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">high chappere</span>l' and they would immediately point out to my granddad's house...This was because his house is among the biggest there and our land area was so big,that soon after his sons and daughters were married ,they build houses there itself...My first uncle,second and third uncle each owned a house there.My two aunts build a home for them there.Only my mum and another two aunt's moved out and stayed in their husband home somewhere else..These houses were build after my relatives cleared a hill using 'cangkul' and hand tools..A bulldozer was hard to come by those days....<br /><br />I still cherish the days I grew up there..Every Saturday,Sundays and holidays, I and my brothers will actually park ourselves there...My cousin were aplenty there..The area was so big we use to play football,'rounders'(baseball in disguise) and we'll hold barbecues and camping sessions in my grand dad's area it self...Those were the days...<br /><br />And not to forget there's where I met the apple of my eyes...my dearest life patner..my love for the past 14 years...And she with her parents are still residing there...a family, one of the remaining 5 families left behind in the Indian side of village...<br />Those were the days...But now the scenario is...<br />It looks like a war zone...Lorries roll in and roll out now and then ferrying sands...Indonesians virtually have a 'pasar malam' there...Criminals rolls in like nobodies buisness...And these guys always intimidate the the young gals and women in that area...Even my fiancee was chased by some of these guys one day, when she was walking back home..The poor girl ran faster than P.T. Usha and injured herself...Wished i were there at that time..i've would skinned those fellows..Police comes to this area often and often lingers around the Indonesia area...The only concern,are they there to protect the local residents or the Indonesians...God knows...<br />Till today the people of Kg.Berembang are continuously upper handed by the council and local community leaders whom already made a pact with the devil,earning what they wanted..Even one fool was made a senator and some became a councillor...<br />I will share with you about the corruption of these guys another time...As today is a day for me to recall all the memoirs i have of this place where most of my happy days were...I hoped my grand dad is not hurt from all of this..<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">may he rest in peace....</span>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-49095455939341663932006-11-18T00:06:00.000+08:002006-11-18T00:57:15.664+08:00What a sick kind of people....I thought i had enough of these assembly thing...But during coffee break, a colleague of mine wanted to watch the circus going on...And again, it raised my nerve...During the first three days of circus, they were so busy harassing the non-bu**...Today they found Datuk Mukhriz...At last the non-bu** were spared out today...<br />But today is a turnaround from three days of rallies....Today they say, don't worry if we threaten you yesterday,it was just our emotion running high...even the the guy who instigated it, the men at the helm himself, gave a wrapping speech that , we don't mean to scare you, just want to tell you, if you pinch us, we will feel the pain and we mind cry...Whoa...<br />Why is that today you are talking in a different tone..Maybe they knew that the have to go back and their driver might be an Indian waiting to take some revenge on them...or maybe their Ali Baba partners might be pissed off...Or they might upset all their lawyer,their doctors,their ad visors whom most of them are non-bu**'s...<br />This arrogant pigs should be mulled first at first news of JE came up...We see what the synopsis of the assembly that went through...<br /><br />aa) Now we have a official weapon and a name for it...We got a keris for all you non-bu** guys if you asked anything..<br /><br />bb) Now we have a flag,a name for it and a song which comes along which sounds like Doremon..<br /><br />cc)Non Ethical Plan aka the Never Ending Plan will live as long blood still runs in a Ma**y.<br /><br />dd)Sinchan is to be banned and be changed to 'Umchan' or 'ciku' or 'nenek kebayan'.<br /><br />ee)Indon, Philippine, Spain and other Latin movies will be banned except for Bollywood movies which will be promoted along Visit M'sia 2007 by the puteri arm.<br /><br />ff)All cabinet minister wife need to wear uniform and totally close their body from head to toe with batik given by cabinet...<br /><br />gg)All non-Bu** construction supplier can now focus their respective motherland or even change your buisness, as the supplies will be not given the 'halal' certificate by Jak*m and only Bu** suppliers are allowed to sell,built and eventually live there...<br /><br />hh)IFC will be banned and will be replaced by KFC (Kafir Federation Council) headed by the most fattest gut in the cabinet...<br /><br />ii)All B**i's are required to use the original UM** keris in case they need a weapon to run "Amok"...If any other weapon used,the syariah court would not entertain them,as non-bu** cannot give statement in Syariah court.This no statement stand,will automatically deem the non-Bu** guilty and you will be covered by the court.<br /><br /> All regulations mentioned were derived from the baseless methodology used by UPU.So any one going against it will be dealt with ISA...not the chap from Seremban but from the internal security minist**y.<br /><br />Lastly all of these doctrine are at the discretion of the president and his son in law....<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I seriously need to see a neuro surgeon man...What's happening to me .........</span>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-53841615861727981912006-11-16T23:42:00.000+08:002006-11-17T00:41:22.062+08:00Are we Martians......My oh my...What a day it has been...From the point I evoked my self today early morning till the moment I'm trying to slumber off tonight...<br />Trying to juggle among my resposibilities and sheer conscience at my working place is a hard thing to do...We are expecting a inspection from a major oil company which comes in to check whether we(the firm) is adhering to an already damn strict international regulation...My boss is running up and down, breathing on my neck...Y this,,Y that...What are you going to do...And the thought of failure of the inspection would have adverse effect on my career,it really makes me grumpy..<br />I have to ensure all my staff are doing 110% effort,at the mean time ensuring their are not drained of...But it's a great experience all together...To have a boss who guides you,to have good subordinates really needs the effort from us to pull it off...As I grew more in this field,I've learned how to really manage something....Hope one day it ends on a higher note..But there were things today which really pissed me off....<br />The moment I wake up, the first thing I'll do is to open the Tv channels...I enjoyed the morning newspaper reviews...But these few days that enjoyment has been marred by this Idiotic assembly going on...At first I tried to follow all the ongoing..But as day turns, what I was expecting is turning into a nightmare..It's just like watching the '<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Ramarajan</span>" movies those days,or even the return of <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Nightmare on Elm Street.</span>..<br />I thought at the assembly they would talk of the hope of reviving the economy, a 180 deg turn from last years assembly..Turned out worst..This year they actually paraded a weapon,named it and gave a song for it...For whom the keris was...For the most outspoken opposition or what...<br />It's against the basic law of any country to threat people and these guys are doing it as if they are our Ah Longs...<br />The joke was,they say they have been tolerating us,sacrificing for us all these donkey years...Funny eh...Did any of us went to a Uni with their help...I certainly did not...I don't even been attached to a Uni...The only Uni. I've been, was to University Hospital...But god help,I managed my way up in a different way,worked my ass off..climbing the hard ladder to be a engineer,a proud senior engineer now (self promoting).<br /> Sometimes I pity my father..The old man did well, even though some of my brothers would disagree..He send all his 5 "pancha pandava' sons to be trained, to be an engineer with his own expense...And mind you he was just a Tamil school teacher those days...i owe him a lot...But the point is, education grows to be more expensive now days...how are we going to pay for our kids education...Our hope of public Uni. might have been and would not even in near future exist in our mind,judging the country atmosphere now..Better save some money and open up a college so I can enroll my kids there for free...<br />After work,i had a long conversation with my boss...Started off with the incoming inspection,then it went about our staff and it went on a long walk about the M'sia atmosphere...<br />You see,my boss is a African origin and this guy is very good as per education wise,PR wise and mentally sound...He has been working in Malaysia since 1977,I was born on that year...<br />He knows more about how M'sia grew from a barnyard to a leading nation...As a expatriate,he also knows about other countries well.What he told me today was, "<span style="font-style: italic;">Boy...You better find youself a second plan,just incase near future, the M'sia atmosphere is not condusive for you to live..The things happening now is leading your nation to self destruction..You better plan something beforehand.." </span>It took me awhile to grasp what he meant..He had a point..You see,he experienced a near same experience in his country..it broke them apart..That rising nation,an African country is now still struggling,except for their football..I know I am going to sleep tonight thinking all this in my mind...Hope the almighty shed some light on me tonight...<br />But frankly Jo...my mind is still not peaceful after watching todays assembly..I guess I've reached my threshold..No more assemblies from tomorrow onwards..maybe a movie perhaps...Chow...got to sleep..a lot of work tomorrow...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-14569198172885318462006-11-15T20:27:00.000+08:002006-11-15T21:10:52.799+08:00A spade will remain a spade.....I'm sitting down in my room and watching all the 'kelauns' (clowns as one of a blogger described) showing of their prowess of showmanship in the ongoing Circus of the year,the assembly.<br />Just imagine,all this guys have a nerve to shout all kind of perrogative things toward the rest of Non-Ma*** in Malaysia and we are at their receiving end.And they even dare to threaten us not to reply or talk about their threats as it's against the constitution....What a sick joke...<br />Is it written all over in the constitution that you can threaten any communities if you are on the majority race...Bullshit....<br />For info..if I'm not mistaken, there are a lot of poor Indians in India....Throughout the world if we take the whole population of Indians,the most lot of the poor Indians live in India...Big deal...But which is the next country on that list...Dare you say not....Any they even gave someone from this country the highest award on India award list..some Bharatiya award...Must be a joke from Mars...<br />Most Indians in this country given a chance, who like to return the award from the person who received it back to it's origin...<br />If you want to see how deplorable the Indians are in this country,you don't have to go to the estates to find out...Just take a commuter ride from Klang to Port Klang...All the shacks and kids playing beside the tracks will remind us of Kamal's evergreen Nayagan...<br />At my working place there's only me,a single non-M***y and my colleagues are all M****y.While almost most of them have open-minds (effected by being in a foreign nation most of their time), they too get supernova when watching the assemblies or any issues popping up in Malaysia....A spade will remain as a spade....Some fanatics here irks me sometimes..but most of these normal M***y are damn cool guys...Even as I'm penning this blog down,we were actually passing our time together fishing...And it was nice catch today...A big fat Barracuda...What I wanna share was, there are aplenty of these liberal M****y living among us...But they are getting shadowed by some extremist M***y's in Malaysia...And to weed out these fanatics is so difficult as they are the one leading our nation...And did any one of us counted how many time did the Opening speech of our PM today, had the word I*l*m and the word Kafir...It was like they are telling us, we'll let the rest of you live,but we will put chain to your neck and tongue as we are your master and you are our pariahs.....To hell with them.....<br />As a traveler of time, if only Parameswara had used his upper head rather than the another one, if only the British had brought more of these so called immigrant (Not applicable to Indon,mind you), if only our boys prefer to use their brains rather than having an ambition to be a thug (some really do,Kollywood effect), if only we had leaders who holds their own c**k rather than holding the B***p****'s c**k......we would have been in a better state...devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1111400958280652015.post-31089519214840197462006-11-15T20:13:00.000+08:002006-11-15T20:25:22.925+08:00Welcome to my small world !!!!<span style="font-family: lucida grande;">Hi and welcome to my small world....<br />I'm relatively a new comer to this world of blogging....<br />All this while I've been traveling throughout the globe as my career demands it so...<br />Through out this whole donkey years,I've been left out in this IT age and doing my best to catch up...<br />Even setting up this blog took a toll on me as my nature of job doesn't allow me to access to the net often<br />and the limited knowledge of IT.<br />Thus I hope my frens out there could dish me up with their expertise.<br />Even as today I'm wondering why i cannot open "View my complete profile" at my own blog...<br />I've been visiting these few blogs namely under the profiles of voicing out our displeasure at our diplorable state of our beloved country Malaysia...I do enjoy visiting these sites and comend those who deserve it....<br />So for those who were disappointed when you open up this blog,I'm very sorry if I had let you down...<br />Cause as river run down its brook,shall it flow to the sea....And so do me....<br /><br /></span>devonichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09045813552504689707noreply@blogger.com0